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What if my partner and I have bad synastry?

It happens. You get all geeked about your chart, your North Node, your stelliums, and all the unique things about you. It's only natural that analyzing how this reflects your relationship is the next logical step. But..what happens when you pull up your charts and realize that you have aspects that show challenges ahead? What if you notice that your chart ruling planet has a negative aspect to their Moon? Synastry can be fun. In fact, synastry charts can also be done between friends and family members as a measure of compatibility. But when a person wants a relationship to work and sees negative aspects between planets and their partner's planets it is normal to be concerned.

What does it mean?

  • All charts and relationships have challenges, some more than others. You and your dearest friend may share an opposition or square that explains an area of life where you clash or disagree.

  • If you choose to look at astrology through an evolutionary lens, which I do based on the work of Steven Forrest, then understand that despite our unions with others we remain individuals. We aren't wrong for having a planet in a certain sign because it may required for us to have our placement there. However, this does not always match the patterns in others' charts.

  • Two people can make a relationship work if they are willing. Awareness is key. Perhaps, one person knows their partner needs more emotional support. Despite not naturally exhibiting emotions based on their chart, they make sure their showcase their love for you. Perhaps, your Ascendant Squares their Sun and you make room to understand their personality though it differs from yours. People who have karmic pasts together are likely to have negative aspects which show things to work on in this lifetime.

  • However, ignoring the astrology when you have already seen evidence that it is a problem in the relationship is a big mistake. A small snag in your dress is not a big deal until it gets bigger and all of a sudden there is a huge hole. Something that seems minor at twenty-one such as your partner being aloof and unpredictable sounds interesting and fun, but if you marry this person and they never change years later it may not be so fun when you want a family and this person does not value stability.

  • You will need to prioritize placements. Which planets and placements are emphasized in your individual charts enough to matter in synastry? For example, your Chirons squaring may not mean much if you have positive aspects in other areas. But if the Moon is your chart ruler and you are emotional balanced but your partner's Moon Squares yours, they can cause you to experience a level of disappointment or emotional upheavals. A well-aspected planet in your natal chart does not mean that energy will blend well with another individual's.

  • No one can tell you whether you should be together. Your astrologer can make suggestions but ultimately it is up to you and your partner to make decisions. You can't be afraid to make decisions and enforce expectations on an astrologer or tarot reader. They are there as guides but you have to make your own decisions.

At the end of the day, everything is energy. An aspect being difficult sometimes can be a trigger to help you grow and evolve in your problem solving skills. Also, don't forget to live life. Mistakes are lessons and opportunities to correct ourselves. Astrology is one of many tools to help you make conscious and productive decisions to encourage growth and fulfillment.

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